Most cocktails follow standard recipes, but the martini — though it contains only two ingredients — is a spectrum of near-infinite arrangements. This lack of specificity grants the martini its unique power to inspire loyalty and debate, and it’s why everyone has his or her own preferred version.

Because there are so few factors — gin or vodka, proportion of vermouth, shaken versus stirred, and garnish — people can devote a lot of thought to each. (Liking your martini “dirty” doesn’t factor in because it’s gross.) I asked John Hodgman, known to love a good martini, about his own preferred method, and this is what he wrote back:

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